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Sunday, March 22nd 2009

12:35 AM

What Do I Do?

  • Mood: Upset
  • Music: "No One's Gonna Love You" by Band of Horses
  • Worry: Our relationship.
There's been lots of problems occurring in my relationship with Dave. Most of them tend to be about the same thing. I just don't get it.... We talk about things, we come to an agreement, and the SAME damn thing happens again! How? Why? Is he not listening to me?!? Does he care? I know that he loves me, but I just think that he's in no place at all to be in a relationship, and hurt me in the process. It's selfish. About selfishness: I feel that it's always about him, and it makes me so upset sometimes. I wish he'd just grow the hell up! Every time we get around his wrestling buddies, he makes me feel like I don't exist, and I find myself alone on several occasions. It's like he forgets about me. I'd never do that to him. I love him to death, and I'd go out of my way to make sure he's okay, and that he feels like he's a part of the group. His selfishness is really getting to me. It's like he has no regard whatsoever for others! No one! Not even for the girl whom he claims to be his world. I'm so sick of it! Sometimes I feel like I'm trapped. I love him so much, and I don't want to lose him, but I can't stand being miserable much longer! I'd hate to hurt him. He's my only friend, and without him I'd go insane. I'm in tears right now, cause I'm so frustrated with everything's that been happening. I wish that things were different! What did I do wrong? Whatever it is that I can do to make things better, I will. But as of now, I'm not fulfilled, and it constantly disappoints him. I don't want to make him feel like it's all his fault. It could be something that I'm doing as well. I don't know. I've tried to sleep on my decision before I do anything that I'll regret, but I still feel the same way. Maybe it's just not meant to be...

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