I finally told him part of what was on my mind. I told him that I wanted to be his girlfriend, but he insisted we leave things as they are.

Crushing.
 
I haven't seen him in forever, and he tells me that he's leaving in two months for Tally again.

Devastating.

 Who cares?

Me.

Why?

 Who the fuck knows?!

 I wish that I were inept of feeling any sort of emotion. Emotion is breaking me back down into the dust that I was created from, bit by bit. So many opportunities slipping through my fingers. So many days passing just daydreaming. When I finally do get the courage, I've fucked up too much. I was a bit too honest. I'm not good enough anymore. I'm just like everyone else. I'm not! Why does everyone underestimate me? They only figure my worth when it's too late. When I've lost interest.

I pretend not to care, and it's tearing me apart. I have breakdowns, and they're not pretty. I feel like dying sometimes. I think about David a lot. I think about how happy I was when I was with him. About how he lied to me. About how much it hurt me, and how it still hurts right now. Just as much as the tears that are pouring down my cheeks right at this moment. How could anyone with a heart do such a thing. Why?

My life. Gone.

My sanity. Gone.

My power. Gone.

What have I done?